October 8, 2012

• And so it goes….

  I’m really getting so tired of living in perpetual stress.

  I guess it’s better than living alone, but I want to be able to breathe freely again. I want to stop “thinking ahead” about every move, meal, event; you name it. I want to have spontaneity in my life again. I want to focus on other aspects of life. This whole situation has overtaken everything. 

  Everything requires some level of pre-planning. And respect for limitations, an endless ever growing list of limitations. People remind me that I’m not sick, my H is!! And that is true on the surface. But as anyone who has ever walked this path knows, it’s not that simple. My Honey wants to be strong for me but that facade of strength brings no comfort, only a sense of separation. He doesn’t want me to worry, so he doesn’t talk about his feelings or fears. He thinks he’s helping me. He’s not. He’s simply shutting me out.

  We’ve been here before… We will survive this bump in the road.

  Again.

  • 9:30 PM
  • 1 Comment